I love this topic this week. One incident where God told me to do something, quite clear I might add, and I was just like, “REALLY GOD!”? It felt just like too much to ask.
Yet, I had less of an obedience problem back then and, despite my grumbling, I listened.
We use to live in a house that shared the front half of the driveway with the house next door. We were paranoidly careful and aware, but one of our more layed back extended family members or friends would always try to pull in there, “to just run in for a second” and the lady next door would be on us like a hot potato! The last time she ever did this, and we lived there 5 years, was the worst.
We didn’t even know someone had done it. I had 4 kids of mine that I was chasing and I tried to be on top of things but, you know how it is. The door bell rings and I open it to her red-faced yelling at me. I wanted to die. Company, 4 kids (2 yelling/crying) and it was not my best day. I stood there and listened and then said I was sorry, I didn’t know, and would tell the person to move. The person had heard and said they were leaving anyway, with a red face. I shut the door and I just had the most honest conversation with God, despite the chaos of the house, and I was so angry and upset and tired of it! When I finally stopped talking and was just breathing heavy I heard very clearly that I was to cut my best roses and make a big bouquet and take it to her personally. I said no way! And argued the whole time I obediently cut my roses, made the biggest, most beautiful, bouquet you had ever seen. I then cried. I felt like I was going to give something I loved, the best I had, and it would only be rejected or I would be yelled at. I hated confrontation anyway. Yet, I crept over with my head hanging and rang her doorbell. She answered the door with a puzzled look on her face. I handed her the flowers and told her I was so sorry. I had tears in my eyes, and honestly I don’t know if it was the humility or fear. But she took them and kindly said thank you. She never yelled at me again. A year later we moved. Yet when I saw her at the store or where she worked she was always more pleasant than she had been before.
I was so thankful that God knew better than I did. I still get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes now. Not too many years after that her husband and her split up and he committed suicide in the front yard with a rifle. I don’t know why or what was going on in their relationship all those years. What her life must have been like behind closed doors. But God knew that day and that instant she needed love, no matter how she acted. And I needed to learn that obedience to God does not always make sense in human thinking.
Thank you for telling me to do what was contrary to my heart, just so I could be your servant. Help me to be more like that again.
In Jesus Name, Amen.