After reading Chapter 11 of Stressed-Less Living I am again amazed by how each chapter hits me right where God is growing me. So this weeks chapter is titled, The Reset Button. It is about getting stuck in a rut, just wanting out; at the end of our rope.
I have felt stuck in many ways the last couple of years, but it definitely has intensified this year. I have felt stuck spiritually, physically, even situationally. And yes, I wish at times I had a reset button, or a do-over button. But often I just wish I could run away. Not from everything, but I have spent years with dramatic overhauls happening in life at about the time this feeling occurs. We have lived in 4 towns in the last 23 years, but have moved to different houses and parts 20+ times. We have done three major church changes in the last 15 years, since becoming Christians. We have public schooled, private schooled, homeschooled, and now public schooled our kids again. My husband has gone through 8 very diverse and different job changes. From Farming to Branch Manager to Janitor. In the middle of all this we worked towards becoming full-time missionaries and got through the whole process up to the fundraising and leaving. The funds would not come in. We worked to the point of almost sweating blood…God simply said no. I think he knew what he was doing. We were a mess that we hid well from everyone, but God.
With each change we fit into a different dynamic and with each switch of things we made different friends and did different things. But each new chapter was on thinner and more fragile paper. Easily crumpled or torn.
So I sit here now with a life that I don’t think is where God wants us, but where he has allowed us to rest. Or grow, cause I haven’t felt like I have been resting. I know I am here because he wants some breakthrough, some resolution, something solid in us again. But I know I am not there. And what I really want to do is run to a major life change again. Something to take the focus off of dealing with the now and the fact that I feel so out of place. I am going through the motions. Even as I do this study. I am still going through the motions. Feeling like I am waiting for something more. And maybe this time God has placed this restlessness in my heart because it is time. The growth that could happen here is done.
But with my history who could blame me for not knowing whether to trust in that or not.
So what will I do?
I will try to implement the six steps outlined in Tracie’s book.
1. Realign Your Life. I need to start giving the word the time and valuation it deserves. I need to start considering it my lifeline and go to when I have these questions and start looking for God to give me an answer. I ask, I pray, but I don’t look in the right places for answers. Searching my own mind and heart often will lead to very selfish answers.
2. Recognize Your Need. My need is to be dependant on God. Not be so self-sufficient. This is not a new realization, but one that still needs to be addressed fully. Because I will surrender until life starts falling apart and then I deem myself the cleaner and start picking up the pieces. I like what Tracie said, “God never meant for us to be self-sufficient. Dependable, yes. Responsible, yes. Confident, yes. Self-sufficient, no.
3. Adjust Your Focus. I need to get my focus off my circumstances and put it on God. I need to put into action my trust in God to work in my life.
4. Be Filled With The Spirit. I have given my life to Christ. Truly asked hm to be my Savior. And He has given me his Holy Spirit. I need to stop ignoring, and grieving, the Holy Spirit. I need to give him Dominion over my life. I see that happening by doing what 1-3 says.
5. Be Faithful In Your Prayer Life. I pray in faith, but I do not come to him as often, or like I should. The more stress the more I fail at number 2 and the less I pray faithfully.
6. Believe God is Who He says. I do. This one I do. But without all the other actions falling into line my life does not reflect it.
I know that I need to believe what it says in 2 Peter 3:9. The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake.
Tracie ends the chapter by saying Unbelief puts our circumstances between us and God; faith puts God between us and our circumstances. If you are serious about resetting your life, then let God be God in your life.
Dear Lord, I truly want this for my life. I am going to work at doing all these things. To not have you in a place that is unworthy in my life, but to let you be the God you are in my life. Help me make these changes. Help me be who you would have me be and go where you would have me go. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for the love you constantly show me and the blessings you shower upon me in your love and patience. In Jesus Name, Amen.